Category: struggles

As I have grown older, I have begun to see others differently. When I was young, I saw only the good in others. My mother and wife referred to this as seeing my values reflected in others…in truth, I wasn’t seeing them, just seeing what I valued.

As I grew older, I became disillusioned. It seemed I had to control others, manipulate them to achieve what would be right for everyone concerned. I only saw the worst, a reflection of my fears.
Now, when I look I see people just like me, fearful and worthy of being loved. So long as I can see them, witness them as they are, recognize the hypocrisy and the desire to do well, and, love them where they are, leadership is less about direction, more about finding the best possible answers together.
This vision flows not from my strengths alone, but my weaknesses, my absolute surrender to the fact that I am a sinner…it is a surrender that does not come easily. God must fight me every day for that surrender, and I yield each time only after a struggle. Thank you, God, for fighting me for Me.

Responsible for others, I have to look, not with my eyes, but with the eyes of the Spirit. I have to see, not what my weary mind wants to see–the ugliness, the bitterness, the disappointment, the humanity. I have to not only see that, but also, the fact that those I am responsible for are flawed, weak, and deserving of Me fighting for them, just as Jesus the Christ fights for Me.

One of the things I have always noticed about Gideons’ Bibles in motel rooms is that they include an excellent guide of verses, categorized by topic and issue. A Lubbock friend (Billy Hull) sent me a link to God’s Yellow Pages today, which is like a 21st century Gideons’ guide to the Bible.

The entry that caught my attention tonight was one for “courage.” I blogged earlier today about courage— how it is not the lack of fear, but rather the ability to act despite fear– but this verse (Psalm 27:14) puts yet a different spin on courage that I need to be reminded of.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Courage, in a Christian sense, also means remembering WHO IS IN CONTROL of this world and what my place in it actually is. I think we often think of “courageous people” as folks who went out and “made things happen” — I at least don’t always think of courage as something that involves God’s will– often I think of it as something that is a product of human will. Certainly the choices we make matter… I think a great part of the Christian walk is the struggle to make GOOD and BETTER choices, when faced with temptations and adversity– but in the end we need to recognize the existance of God’s will and His sovereignty.

I am not sure about others, but I know that I RARELY want to wait. For anything. Waiting is not really considered virtuous anymore, in popular culture. Perhaps it never was, but it seems that it was held in higher regard by previous generations. The emphasis now in our consumer-driven society is to NEVER wait: always buy now, always satisfy your urges with rash spending and impulsive decision-making.

Those are poor habits. The Psalmist reminds us that we should strive to be courageous people– and we should take courage in the strength and in the perfect plan of the LORD. Waiting is difficult for adults, at times, just as it seems excruciatingly difficult for my two year old. Yet in waiting, we all should take heart– and have courage. For we may not know the future, but we know who holds the future…. and we can rest easy knowing that the future is in good hands. 🙂

For additional links like these, refer to the official website of the Gideons and click on “Bible Helps” and then “Help in Time of Need.”